The Air Conditioning (yes, I’m still talking about it)

Sometimes I wonder how I function on a day-to-day basis. I know that it seems my life has been revolving around my air conditioning lately. It’s sad really that it’s been taking up so much space in my brain trying to figure out how to keep from roasting in my own apartment. My bedroom is somewhat of a sauna, so I’ve been sleeping on my couch with cold wet paper towels on my coffee table to drizzle over myself throughout the night. It surprisingly helps a lot combined with the efforts of the fan.

My huge air conditioning unit sits in the corner of my little spare room taunting me. It’s rude actually. It’s so close to the window, but it’s not actually in the window. Several times I went in there just to look at it, standing over it, dripping in sweat. Last night I’d had it. I tried to go to sleep on the couch with the fan going, but it wasn’t happening. I was getting that air conditioning on.

I went into the little room, determined. I tried to lift it and I got it a few inches off the floor, but realized there was no way I was going to be able to carry it all the way into the living room. I got my little vanity chair, which is only about two feet tall, and brought it over. I counted to three and hoisted the AC onto the chair. Victory! I then carefully (as to not disturb my asshole neighbors) slid the chair across the floor into the living room. I positioned it under the window, counted to three, and heaved the thing onto the window sill. Now I know from growing up with a very cautious dad and brother, that you have to be reallllllyyyy careful putting that thing in the window, because if it falls out it’ll surely kill someone dead. So since I was a little tipsy and didn’t really trust myself to not drop the thing out the window, I kinda just let the back part hang out the open window, while the majority of the unit was still INSIDE. I turned it on, it blew out cool air, and I considered this a victory. I put pillows around the top, to close the gap between the unit and the window and went to bed (reallllll classy… I know).


Now I realized this was sort of ghetto rigged, but in some strange way I was actually still proud of myself. I’m all like “I don’t need no mannnnnnnn,” and “you go, gUrrrLLL!!!” Until I walked over to the window this afternoon and realized I had completely flooded my living room. WWWWWWTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Puddle is an understatement. My living room is basically a pond. Forget the carpet. It’s so soaked I could barely lift it to try to dry underneath. How did this happen? How am I 30 years old and seriously the biggest idiot on Earth?? And do I have to throw that carpet out now? I mean do wet carpets dry?? Or do they just get moldy? Someone who knows anything, please tell me. Because I clearly don’t.know.anything.

I turned the AC off to deal with my new lakefront property, and then adjusted it so it was more hanging out the window. It’s not perfect, but it will do for now.

Over and out… I need a mimosa.



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mom
    Jun 02, 2013 @ 15:58:44

    Hang that carpet over your fire escape for a day or two

    of dry, sunny days. It will be ok. Really disappointed in our friend Tyler, for not helping you. After all, you did help him with his suit.


    • cfd
      Jun 02, 2013 @ 16:07:04

      Thanks mom. Will try that. In our friend Tyler’s defense, we were out to sushi when I asked him. If I had asked seriously, he would have done it for me.


  2. Andy
    Jun 02, 2013 @ 23:02:55

    Sorry you had to learn that condensation thing the hard way. Ironically, when installed properly, your AC will help dry out the rug!


  3. Andy
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 00:41:03


  4. Andy
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 00:42:13

    Or, I can be there within 2 weeks.


  5. New Single Guy
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 14:50:40

    Ooh, that sucks. 😦 I’m not much help here, seeing as I’ve never used an in-window AC unit.


  6. mom
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 19:19:39

    Who is “new single guy?”


  7. carissa
    Jun 10, 2013 @ 00:20:12

    ^^ what she said


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