My Bachelor Audition (Video)

So now that I am officially NOT going to be on The Bachelor, I feel it’s time to share my story.

My story starts with a voicemail.  “Hi Courtney!  This is Ashley, from ABC’s hit TV show, The Bachelor.”  The first time I listened to the message I blacked out after the first sentence.  I just squealed. And hung up.  Then I listened to it 100 more times before I waited 3 days (you know, just to play hard-to-get), and then called her back.  She said she had received my picture and story submission (that I sent two months earlier and completely forgot about), and would love if I would continue in the process.  “Are you still interested in continuing?”

“Yes, I think I’d like to continue”  (squealing silently & jumping up and down in my living room by myself).

“Okay great!  I’m going to email you a more extensive application, and specific instructions for submitting a video!”

AL:GFSKJSLKJG:LSKDGJSLKDJFG  someone from THE BACHELOR called me!!!  I didn’t care if I never heard from them again, that pretty much made my life.  If you are aware of my obsession with The Bachelor franchise, you would understand.   I went to Target to buy a video camera, keeping the receipt, of course, to return when I was finished, and enlisted the help of several friends to shoot clips of me doing things they asked for.  Things such as:

-Tell us about your family

-Do you have pets?  Introduce them

-Show us what you do for fun

-What do you do for a living?  Give us “a day in the life”

Etc. etc. etc.  Dating a film guy for 3 years kinda rubbed off on me… by the end of shooting, I was upset with myself for not getting enough “B-roll”  WTF is wrong with me, it’s a stupid freakin’ Bachelor submission.

I decided to pay an editor (a friend of a friend’s dad who owns a production company).  But my type A personality took over the day before I was going to pick up his final project and ship it to LA, and I decided to edit it myself.  I told myself, if I picked it up and wasn’t happy with it, I’d be screwed because it had to be FedExed that day.  So I got to work on iMovie (which I JUST taught myself like two days earlier) and threw something together.   Of course, I wasn’t thrilled with the outcome because I didn’t have enough time to do final tweaks, but I was happy enough with it to use the one that I made myself.  Dammit, controlling personality!   I kind of want to punch myself for being so annoying in parts of this video (mostly, the whole thing), but I think it represents me somewhat accurately (yeah I’m kinda annoying).

In any case, I shipped it off to LA, spoke with two casting producers multiple times, one time in which the guy made me promise, “Whatever you do this weekend, don’t fall in love!”  SQUEAL SOME MORE!  And then heard nothing.

Ok let’s be straight here.  I’m a realistic person for the most part, so of course I was not EXPECTING to get picked.  I mean what’s my story?  What’s so interesting about me?  I’m no model, so it’s not like I could pull off the “boring hot chick” roll, and I am a little nuts, but probably not nuts enough to be “the nutty girl,” not that I’d even want to be….  But I got wrapped up in the excitement and with all the effort I put into that stupid video, I thought I had to give it my all.

I sat around and waited.  And thought.  And got a promotion at work.  And started saying hmmm…. If I got picked would I go on?  I went back and forth.  It’s not exactly a respectable show.  I’d lose my job for sure.  Would anyone ever hire me again?  Hmmmm….

I didn’t have to think for very long though!  Today, I received this email from a casting producer:

Hi Courtney,
Unfortunately, you won’t be moving on in the casting process. You are such a beautiful girl, I don’t think you’ll need our help finding love anyway 🙂
Whatever Ashley, I wasn’t really thinking I was gonna find love anyway.  I just wanted to go party in LA, and travel the world on ABC’s dime for a few weeks.  Jkjkjkjkjk.  Kinda.  I heart Ashley though, I kinda wish we were friends in real life.
Everything happens for a reason, right?  I guess I’ll have to just make copies of this video and hand it out to random men…that way it will make my shooting & editing time worthwhile.  And cut out the need for a first date.
Here’s my audition tape [FAIL!]

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jenny Kirkpatrick
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 19:59:05

    Aw Courtney! They should have picked you! Just finished watching your video; lol! You would’ve kicked up the show a few notches, so it’s their loss!


  2. Michele!
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 21:02:17

    I belly laughed so many times while watching this I hate them for not picking you!


  3. Katie Dirkx
    Jul 12, 2012 @ 08:35:13

    I CANNOT believe I have never read your blog – but now that I’m working at a computer all day I am discovering a lot more good online stuff (I’m easily distracted). Anyway, I love this and hope you’re doing well! 🙂


  4. smoothreentry
    Mar 21, 2013 @ 15:32:22

    That is awesome! I could never have put myself out there like that! You probably are not crazy enough to have been chosen…The unstable girls make for better TV…


  5. Trackback: A Marriage and a Shart…. Two of my Favorite Things | beautiful shades of laughter

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